IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”
As a professor? I would laugh til I spilled my vodka and pissed myself if a student sent me a paper with that title.
more benefits to being a cat
- loved at any weight
- its not weird if you’re awake in the middle of the night
- people believe you when you say the gender of a cat no matter what it looks like
- no one judges you for not showering or leaving the house
- you can just leave in the middle of an interaction
- no deadlines or bills
- not expected to wear clothing
- not cold if naked
- if you do wear clothing you will be considered 500% cute no matter what
- cute whiskers
- super flexible
Someone get this guy a fucking medal.
They made birth control for men. However it never got past the clinical testing stage because its side effects were things like “moodiness, extreme cramping, hunger, increased sexual drive” and were considered INHUMANE.
what the fuck do they think women go through every goddamn month seriously
I’M SORRY MEN CAN’T HANDLE MENSTRATION
men are pussies
Men are not pussies because they can’t handle having one
She was just too light to keep the seat down, so she watched the entire movie like this
plot twist: people begin to find you attractive in real life and not just on tumblr
Plot twist: People begin to find me attractive on Tumblr
Plot twist: People begin to think I’m attractive.
Plot twist: People begin to think
on the xkit audio downloader extension pops up this window for copyright violations
and it’s a different one every time
i love the xkit guy
eyebrow game strong
You little shits i had this idea in my head for 2 months and it took thirty minutes to get this shit off my face its a good fucking pun AHHH
If you say you didn’t read this in his accent, you’re a liar
DOES FANNY MEAN SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN AMERICA BECAUSE PEOPLE DO NOT “SHAKE THEIR FANNY” HERE OKAY THEY JUST DONT
wait what does fanny mean in england
in america fanny means butt because we don’t have vaginas. the government refuses to acknowledge their existence.
hands over ownership of this post 2 u
"you only post selfies for the attention"
everything I do is for attention
i LOVE star war!!! PEW PEW, light saver! dark vader and luke skyscraper and obi 1 cannoli and r2b2 and 3pco and tobbaca. i love star trek.
Please read this****
If a thief forces you to take money from an ATM, do not argue or resist. What you should do is punch your pin in reverse. EX: if your pin is 1234 you punch 4321. The moment you punch in the reverse, the money will come out but will be stuck in the machine and the machine will immediately alert the police without the theif’s knowledge. Every ATM has this feature.
Reblog this so everyone knows, this happens all the time especially in the city
ATM’S DO NOT HAVE THIS FEATURE. I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY PUT IN A PIN NUMBER BACKWARDS AT AN ATM FOR WHATEVER REASON, AND IT JUST GIVES AN ERROR MESSAGE SAYING INCORRECT PIN.
I ALSO CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE HAD TO EXPLAIN TO CUSTOMERS OF THE BANK I USED TO WORK CUSTOMER SERVICE FOR THAT NO, AUTOMATIC TELLER MACHINES DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF SOMEONE GRABS YOU AT AN ATM AND THREATENS YOU FOR ALL YOUR ACCOUNTS MONEY? YOU GIVE THEM YOUR GODDAMN MONEY, CALL THE POLICE, AND THEN CALL THE BANK. THE CAMERA ON THE FUCKING ATM SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT THEIR FACE, AND THERES USUALLY ANOTHER CAMERA NEARBY JUST IN CASE THEY SHIELD THEMSELVES FROM THE ATM CAMERA. CALL THE POLICE FIRST, AND THEN CALL YOUR FUCKING BANK. TELL THE PERSON WHO WORKS FOR THE BANK WHAT HAPPENED, AND THEY WILL TAKE THE POLICE REPORT NUMBER, AND RETURN THE MONEY TO YOUR GODDAMN ACCOUNT.
THAT IS THE FUCKING POLICY IN THE EVENT OF THIS KIND OF CRIME BEING COMMITTED AGAINST ANY BANKING CUSTOMER.
ATM MACHINES DO NOT HAVE THIS FUCKING FEATURE, STOP SPREADING GODDAMN LIES THAT CAN GET PEOPLE FUCKING HURT SHOULD THEY BE IN THAT PREDICAMENT.